Re-learning how to engage with expression for fun and nothingness right now, rather than as a means to an end.
After experiencing severe burnout from forcing myself to draw literally all day every day, I went multiple years without doing it at all. Before I had a logical “reason” for, say, spending the entire morning on a watercolor of a vase. “I can justify this because it’s for my animation portfolio. It’s work. It’s acceptable because it will eventually earn me money”.
The picture in the photo is an example of that. It was a birthday card for my grandma almost exactly a year ago, and it gave me a valid excuse to sit at my favorite cafe and lose myself in drawing the tree for 2 hours (or find myself, depending on how you look at it). ;)
It can feel scarier to do something just because we want to. Because it’s fun. Because it’s a necessity that we don’t understand but never goes away. This is when we enter the mystery of life, when we begin to admit to the existence of forces beyond us that we can’t wrap our logical minds around no matter how hard we reason. It becomes our invitation to wonder and to experience the world with new eyes.
